Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Adoption: When To Let Them Know

I found out I was adopted when I was eight years old. At the time my parents told me I think I was to young to understand, and of course I was upset, but I learned and got over it. I'm writing this post today because my mother found out she was adopted yesterday at the age of 56.

So, I wonder, when is the right time to tell someone that they are adopted? I know a lot of people feel that the child has a family and why complicate things when they are happy by telling them they aren't biologically related? The issue that arises is information like that always finds a way of being found out. Either by finding some random documents or a family member accidentally telling you. And sadly, that adopted person ends up not trusting the people that raised them and they feel empty inside. Essentially, that person feels like their entire life has been a lie.

I know for me it's been a life long journey trying to discover who I am. Why was I born? Why was I given up? What's my family history? What's my genetic make up? There are so many questions that come from being adopted and knowing, but even more questions come from not finding out until later in life.

And I know that the reason a lot of people don't tell is because they feel like the are protecting that person. In all honesty, I think the adoptive parents are protecting themselves more so. They fear that their child will hate them or abandon them. And that's a risk they'll just have to take, because everyone has the right to know who they are.

No comments:

Post a Comment